Talking About Stuff, with Mike and Christiana

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
This is a good movie to see with a couple of glasses of wine under your belt, (I prefer merlot for movies.) That’s not to say that you need to be drunk to enjoy it, but rather that the mellow calm provided by a nice wine will get you in the right frame of mind to enjoy the funny, melancholy, existential film that Wes Anderson has created here.

If you liked The Royal Tenenbaums, or Rushmore, you’ll probably like this, though you may find that the story lacks the same sharp focus that he’s had in the past. Wes Anderson’s films are populated with smart, passionate characters who have withdrawn into themselves. They recognize the difficulties inherent in trying to solve emotional problems with intellect, yet they find themselves unable to find a better way.

It’s very funny, but in a bittersweet way that often led me to follow my laughter with a sad smile. It’s got a couple of action sequences, but the gunfire and explosions seem almost beside the point, as though the characters wish they could just get the messy fighting over with so they can go back to brooding and bickering with each other. You may have seen the trailer, where Steve (Bill Murray) is assigning crew members into teams. When he finishes, Klaus (Willem Dafoe), a salty German diver, sulks, complaining: “Thanks. Thanks for not picking me.” In the film, Steve tells him that he had always seen him as a little brother. Klaus says he had always seen Steve like a father. Then he asks Steve to keep the rest of the crew from making fun of him for saying so.

The fact that Zissou's crew consists of documentary filmmakers is appropriate, because the film has the same sort of existential ever-present now that can often mark good documentaries. You have context and history, and perhaps predictions about the future, but all of your focus is on the now. The characters treat their lives in much the same way. People, even animals, show up and they are instantly part of the family, for good or ill. Plans are changed dramatically at a moment’s notice, often on a whim, or the discovery that a particular course of action isn’t turning out to be as fun or interesting as predicted. This, I think, may be what people are responding to when they say that the movie is ‘aimless’ or ‘wandering’. A legitimate opinion, perhaps, but I felt it tied right into the themes.

When bad things happen, (and they do,) there is no melodramatic denial or raving fury. The reaction instead tends to be more along the lines of a deep sigh, followed by: “Okay, now what?” That question tends to define lives of these characters. I hesitate to really describe the plot or characters, (most other reviews will do that, if you really want a synopsis,) mostly, I just wanted to describe the mood.

Anyone who wants an uncomplicated laugh-riot is going to need to look elsewhere. The movie is funny, but the humor often comes from the recognition of universal human foibles, like picking on someone because you really like them but can’t quite admit it, or how the nickname ‘Steve-z’ just isn’t the same as ‘Dad’. Steve occasionally presents himself as someone so self-possessed that he doesn’t care what people think, though in reality, he cares a great deal that people think of him that way. This results in people being very candid with their criticisms, then he pouts because they’ve hurt his feelings. It’s hard to have the self-confidence required to ignore the critics when none of them like you.

Whether you will like it or not depends a great deal on your taste in movies. The entire cast is fabulous, and Bill Murray in particular turns in a performance that, to me, is at least as good as his role in Lost in Translation. If reading this review makes it sound interesting, then I have high hopes that you will like the movie. I liked it a lot, as did my brother and the friend I saw it with, but not everyone will. The two people sitting next to us walked out. That said, Wes Anderson remains, to me, one of the most interesting filmmakers working today. Not everybody will like it, but I did, and I hope you will too.

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie

How high is your tolerance for silly?

This is an important question, because the answer counts for 90% of the grade you will give to the Spongebob movie. If you have little patience or humor for phrases like “bubble-blowing double baby,” (say it out loud to test your response,) or cars shaped like hamburgers (“The Patty Wagon”), then this movie will be the cinematic equivalent of a root canal.

If, like me, you are already smiling, then Spongebob has a pretty darn good movie for you. As I suggested above, the movie is extremely silly, but it is also clever, well-animated, and in several segments it attains an almost transcendent surrealism.

Those familiar with the show already know what they are in for, I suspect, and I’ll only say that if you like one, you’ll like the other. As such, I’ll devote the rest of my review to any of you who may not be familiar with young Master Squarepants.

Consider, first of all, that he is not actually a Sea Sponge. He is an actual rectangular yellow kitchen sponge, thus the “Square Pants”. He lives in “Bikini Bottom”, a city beneath the sea populated with fish-folk, who walk around on the ocean bottom with legs and feet. He works as a fry-cook at The Krusty Krab and has a meowing pet snail named Gary. No attempt is made whatsoever to explain any of this. You either accept a biker fish wearing big spiked boots, or you do not. Whether you accept his name or not, (Dennis,) is another question entirely.

I could explain the plot, but I don’t really think that it matters that much. To be sure, it is important within the context of the movie, but it is not the reason to see the movie. Instead, you should see it for the live-action pirates. You should see it for King Neptune’s tragic secret. You should see it for the way Mer-Princess Mindy decides to turn Spongebob and his friend Patrick “into men.” (G-rated, I assure you) And finally, you should see it for David Hasselhoff, whose cameo turns out to be far more critical to the plot than you might suspect.

In summary, I say only this. I’m a goofy goober, yeah! Are you a goofy goober? The answer may change your life.

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Well, probably not, but it might change your afternoon.


NOTE: Despite being a children's movie, pay attention to the PG rating! I would say that the movie contains considerably more mature content than the show does, and parents with kids under ten or so may want to consider studying up on it a little more before going to see it. In particular, there is a lot of 'naked rear'-type humor.

Sideways

In the last couple of weeks, top 10 lists, critics awards and Golden Globe Nominations have been coming out and a little film by the name of Sideways has gotten quite a lot of attention. Deservedly so, in my opinion. What a shame that it isn’t receiving a wider distribution. A shame, though not particularly surprising.

You see, it’s about two old friends on a road-trip through wine-country. For one, it’s one last week of freedom before he gets married. For the other, it’s an opportunity to share one of his great passions, (wine, the pinot noir, in particular,) and also a temporary reprieve from what seems to be an inevitable descent into depression. It’s directed by Alexander Payne, whose previous credits include Election and About Schmidt. So, not exactly the sort of movie you can promote by placing ads on Survivor or CSI during sweeps week.

For lovers of film, however, and those who appreciate a brilliantly told, clever, funny, touching human drama, I strongly suggest that you seek out Sideways while it’s still in theaters.

The two men are Miles and Jack. Jack (Thomas Haden Church) is an actor whose best years are behind him. He’s still working, but he’s gone from starring in TV series to voice-over work reading the fine print in car commercials. He’s thinking of going into business with his soon-to-be father-in-law, “for the stability,” but with the understanding that auditions will take precedence.

Miles (Paul Giametti) is a teacher / writer with a passion for wine that has started to go from a hobby to a lifestyle. He’s two years out from a bad divorce, but still hurting, and though a publisher has recently ‘shown some interest’ in his book, he cannot bring himself to accept congratulations. He knows better than anyone that ‘showing some interest’ is a long ways from offering him a contract, and his manuscript has already been rejected from everywhere else. Ah, but wine! Wine he’s an expert on, and he’s looking forward to sharing some of his passion with his friend on this trip.

So when Jack announces that he is determined to get laid one last time before marriage, Miles is less than thrilled. Noticing Miles’ hesitation, Jack gets even more ambitious, deciding that he will get Miles laid as well, over Miles’ objections if necessary. Jack’s enthusiasm soon nets Miles a date with Maya (Virginia Madsen), a wine-country waitress whom Miles has admired from afar for years. Jack himself hooks up with Stephanie (Sandra Oh), a winery bartender.

I won’t say any more, because the way the movie unfolds is sublime. It has adult, complex, interesting characters with the types of conversations that feel authentic and magical at the same time. It is deeply touching, even sad at times, but other parts are incredibly funny, such as a scene where Miles must get back into the car and drive away as quickly as possible. (You’ll know it when you see it.)

This movie is not for people who can’t appreciate a movie unless it has gunfights and car chases, but for those with an appreciation for sophisticated human drama, I give it my highest recommendation.

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you of an extremely troubling tale. Those of you who are pure of heart should avert your eyes, for the following review is filled with the darkest of events and the saddest of stories. It is truly, "A Series of Unfortunate Events." If you wish to retain your illusions of sense and order in the world, or your faith in happy endings, then you should proceed no further.




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Still here? Very well. If you insist, I shall relate to you that Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events contains no talking pieces of furniture, no high squeaky voices, and no happy, giggling little elves. Well, it has one happy little elf, but his fate is not to be envied. Those of you looking for reasons to hate Jim Carrey will find yourselves sorely disappointed, for his blend of mania and menace only amplifies the sense of surrealistic gloom that hovers over the entire film like a dark cloud, blocking out the sun. The children's performance are likewise somber and intense, providing a consistent blend of empathy and determination. Happy-go-lucky optimists best look elsewhere for enjoyment, for there is little to be found here in the way of silliness and cheer. Only those who revel in melancholy and find solace in the macabre could find enjoyment here.

That being said, I am one of the latter group, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Funny, inventive and visually striking. Thumbs up, but may be too dark for kids under eight or so.