Talking About Stuff, with Mike and Christiana

GP: Hates fandom in general, even though he's been a part of it for 35 years. (laughs) But something I really hate is what I'll call the "Moving Wave of the Present". There are always new people coming into the fandom, but there is a tendency in these people to think that anything that came before whatever brought them in is "before their time" and therefore irrelevant/dismissed. In any other field, "classics" are appreciated. Like anyone who considers themselves a "music fan" but who thinks Beethoven or Mozart are irrelevant would be seen as silly. But many SF fans think that anything that came before is automatically unimportant.

BB: But then, fanzines are a good barometer and if you look back most of the old ones are crap.

GP: But 90% of everything is crap. We know that already.

CW: Agrees. Sometimes, when somebody is a fan of some recent thing "X", you recommend the older thing that inspired it, "A", and they come back and say they felt like it just copied "X", even though it's actually the original.

BB: So what then, if it were to be made of cardboard, are you saying should be put in the room?

GP: Leeds (Laughs, elaborates on specific people he met there)

CP: I would put Filk in the room, for the following reasons. 1st problem, they comb their hair backwards. Second, they are completely unable to stop playing. Third, they ask you to sing along, but last, it is all just profoundly unfunny. If Room 101 is whatever you most hate and fear... I don't hate filk, but I do fear it. A filk singer once wrote a song for me, and was singing it for me and it was going on and on and I was trying to think how to get out of it politely. Then, getting off the elevator, I see a couple that I had met earlier, and was thinking maybe they could help, but then, when they saw what was happening, they got this horrified expression and got back on the elevator.

BB: You haven't said anything bad about Filk yet. (laughs) It was so sweet of him to write that song for you.

GP: Maybe so, but why should he have to suffer for it?

BB: I'm sorry, I won't put filk in the room, but perhaps it can be made to stand outside in the hall for a while.

CW: Filk can be entertaining, but I agree that sometimes they go on and on, way too long.

BB: Filk has to stay. In fact, I've written a song about it. (laughs)

CW: I hate the Panel from hell. I was once on a panel about Death and Dying, and I had prepared all this stuff about the use of death and death scenes in fiction and so on. But then, the first panelist told us all about his heart attack, and endless discussion of the details of being in the hospital. The second panelist talked about the death of his cat, and how it upset him more than the deaths of his parents and how it completely undid him and seemed a metaphor for all of mortality. The third panelist was a nurse who gave an impassioned plea for euthanasia. Then, when it was my turn, I tried to turn it back to fiction "Well of course SF handles this with..." I was told I was off-topic and had to tell something personal. Then, an audience member stood up and explained that everybody was operating under the delusion that we have to die, and then explained his participation in a cryogenics program where you can freeze you head. Then I looked at my watch and it was only 10 minutes in.

BB: Yes, but look at the enjoyment you get from it now! Telling the story.

CW: Good point, but I already have enough material.

BB: Very well, the panel from hell goes into the room.

GP: I hate dinner party fandom. Everyone feels the need to leave the con for dinner, takes forever to set up the logistics and then it turns into hours and hours just for a simple meal. Then, the cons have dead programming time from 6-7 every night.

Q: Points out that this panel was happening from 6-7. (laughs)

GP: Well, from 5-8 then. But everyone wants to go to a fancy place. Food should just be fuel during a con. Fancy meals are for later.

CW: And then you get to the restaurant and tell them you need a table for 46.

GP: And all they really need is a bowl of gruel and a large brandy. It's horrible that so many people feel like: "We must go out to eat, or else it isn't fun."

CP: And then the restaurant is always "just around the corner." then takes an hour to get to.

BB: But "just subsisting" is unpleasant and unhealthy. You need variety.

GP: Eat a rook! Find a pigeon!

CP: He has a point. When you go to a convention, you should really be there! It's part of the experience. Why leave? You'll just be sitting there wondering what's happening back at the con?

CW: But once had a dinner that convinced her to stay in the business when she was despairing.

BB: Dinner party fandom doesn’t have to go in the room, but should be encouraged to leave the con for a bite.

CP: This item is both serious and a little silly. There is an American writer who has changed his name to Christopher Priest. It was done deliberately, and he had heard of me. The only explanation he has given is that he "thought it was cool." He writes comics, and for a Hugo-winning fanzine (Xero).

GP: That's pushing his fucking luck.

CW: It may not be illegal but it is definitely stealing.

CP: Unfortunately, there's just really not anything I can do. You can't copyright your own name. I called DC comics about it to complain. They asked me "What is it that you want?" I suggested that could change his name back. They said his name used to be James Owsley, which just isn't as cool. I suggested that if he wanted a cool name he could just change it to "Harlan Ellison". (Laughs)

CW: Harlan's reaction would be very interesting.

BB: All agreed, the imposter Christopher Priest goes into the vault.

CP: As a writer, all you really have is your name. I actually had trouble with a publisher who didn't want to work with me because they said they'd had a bad experience with "Christopher Priest" but it was the other guy. So he's actually damaging me. I've heard he's now going by "Christopher J. Priest", but still not happy, since he made the original change deliberately. Wasn't just an accident. (Note: I looked it up, the story about the other Christopher Priest is true. He elaborated in his guest of honor speech also that it's pretty ironic that this would happen to him, because he writes so often about twins and imposters and doubles.)

CW: Okay well, if I have to have a second one, I've got the panel from hell two. The problem can be that when you're on with crackpots you can be seen as guilty by association. Once at Wiscon, at a panel on "Gender", the other panelists turned out to be extreme feminists who, before I even had my first chance to speak, concluded that women would really love their periods if not for the patriarchy conspiring to make them think of it as a 'curse'." Finally, I had to speak up. "What are you talking about? That's crazy." Then I was told that I was brainwashed and a traitor and that it was her obligation to write about women's issues. I think I ended up writing "Even the Queen" in revenge.

BB: Once again, panels from hell go into the vault.